If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
