What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
