all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
