you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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