That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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