I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish i was in the wii world.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
