You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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