that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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