I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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