There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
