sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
