In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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