You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
