and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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