Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize