hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
