The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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