OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize