I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
