i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
