so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize