U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
