My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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