i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
