watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
