I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
