check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
