I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize