Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
