I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
