His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
