She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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