I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I smell like Dick and happiness
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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