He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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