I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
