i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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