I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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