i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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