Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
