I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
