It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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