So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
