i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
