you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize