I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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