Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
