There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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