The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
