Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
