Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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