anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You pole danced in your parka.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
