drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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