No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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