i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize