im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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