some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
