Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
