I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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