I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize