i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize