...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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