i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the day after is always just damage control
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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